6 Signs You are in a Healthy Relationship
All too often people get together in a romantic relationship and when the beginning excitement slows down, and we get into a routine, the relationship starts to change. It’s easy to lose sight of why we fell in love to begin with. Maybe it was most sexual than emotional? Here are some good tips to see how healthy your relationship is.
- Calmness. This for me was a big one that took a long time to learn and understand. When you are with or without this person, do you feel anxious or worried? Healthy romantic/emotional love should bring a peaceful feeling. If you are constantly worried or anxious it’s a good sign that something is wrong.
- Acceptance. Does this person accept who you are? Do you accept them? Are either of you constantly trying to “fix” the other person at the cost of hurting yourself? If the answer is yes then look up Codependency. It’s important to support each other but it is each of our own jobs to learn from our own mistakes and take care of ourselves-as parents we can support this learning. This is where boundaries and having the right support system is really important.
- Vulnerability/Trust. Are you able to be vulnerable with your partner? Do you trust they will not throw your weakness in your face or try to use it against you at another time? Do you trust their word? Can you depend on them when they make a promise?
- Kindness/best friend. Are you each other’s best friend? Do you show kindness towards each other? All too often people are in romantic relationships with people who speak to them, or the other way around, in ways they would never imagine speaking to their best friend. Life is going to have a lot of ups and downs, if you aren’t each other’s best friend to support in good times and bad, then what is the relationship really about? Your partner should be helping to hold you up, not the first person to put you down. Being able to openly communicate is key to a lasting healthy relationship. So is being able to laugh.
- Forgiveness. Are you able to forgive each other? Do you constantly bring up mistakes that were made in the past? Are you able to discuss problems as they come up so they can be figured out and put in the past? It’s also important to forgive yourself. We are human and may not be the perfect partner all the time. It’s not fair to hold mistakes over someone’s head and will make for a constant battle of who did what to whom.
- Compromise. Are you able to openly discuss needs and come to a decision together on what is best without leaving one person feeling like they were not heard or don’t matter? It’s important to choose your battles however you should not always be the one “giving in.” Sometimes that means it’s 80/20, 50/50 or 20/80. It all depends on how important it is to you. Don’t be afraid to stand up for what you want but keep in mind that two adults will have different needs. Really listen to each other to make the best decision as a couple without feeling the need to control the situation.